Pre-Op
I don't really get that scared that easily. But walking into the hospital today for my preop all alone was scary. I know I can do this, I know I'm going to be okay but I'm scared. I have very little support as it stands right now from family - they are simply too far away. I have my WLS support group who are awesome and my girls from work who are amazing but I feel so very very alone. I cried twice on my drive home from the hospital today. First because I'm scared and second because I'm alone. But this was my choice to be very far from my family who are busy with their own lives, I know I can't expect them to drop everything and come to me. I'd give anything to have someone here with me.
I know that waking up in the recovery room is going to hit home just how alone I really am but when it comes down to it, I know that I am strong enough to face this and any other challenge life throws at me. I know I can do this.
I know I sound depressed today, I'm just really tired, anxious, nervous and a little disappointed. Plus being on a water diet for the next week is starting to wear on me after the first day. But I have to remind myself that all of this is worth it. Nothing tastes as good as thin.
So I go back Thursday morning, Lily is driving me there, at 4am we will leave my house. The beginning of my brand new life. I can't wait.
2 comments:
We are here with you Kelsey. Be the strong woman I know you are. It will be very hard, but you can do this. I am sorry you are so far away, from old friends and family, but at least you have some sort system there. I know it must be hard for you to have George gone all the time, but this on top just makes it harder.In a years time you will look back on this and think boy look at what I have been through this past year, surgery, Geoarge gone, a major move, and big change in Culture. Also maybe it will be good for you to be away as you transform, people there won't know what you have done unless you decide to tell them, so people won't be hounding you daily about progress, which I have read is very fast to begin with but after 6 mos to a year slows down but continues. Just think of all the things you will be able to do afterwards, in time you will have to incorperate exercise regularly into you daily life and that will feel very good. Got to go you will not be far from my mind tomorrow, I am quite sure all will go well, if it dosn't please get someone to let us know, because I will be worried until I see you blogging again. How long are you expected to be in Hospital for?
Love you Susan
Kels we also are here with you. We support you and will always be with you through anything.
We miss you terribly and are so proud of you with this decision. You are an amazingly strong sole and we have watched you be strong through most of the last 7 years. You have been away from us (the people who love you the most)for alot of time now, you have a husband who is gone ALOT, and you have somehow managed to be strong through it all.
You are going to be strong, and you are going to be fine.
This decision will be the most challanging of your life and you will come out of this experience a healthier, happier, stronger person than you already are. We love the shit out of you, and wish we could be with you.
I will call you to check up...You are NOT alone...I will be with you!
Love, Love, Love
NJR (Nat, Jord & Ryder)
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